magyar_saman: (Default)
Today, I find myself rather ill and more than a little concerned for my heart.

I have a tooth infection that abscesses. I break the abscess, wash out all the gook, hit it with mouthwash and peroxide, then I'm good for about a week. Except -

It is now in my system. I can feel it in my upper jaw, there's slight pressure in both ears, and at the base of my head. My lower sinuses keep gooping up.

Starting last week I began having periods of leg swelling. I've had this before but not for a number of years. I didn't worry about it before because I'd go to bed, the fluid would wash out of my system, and I'd get up the next day peeing like a racehorse. This time I'm worried because I've already had one bout where it did NOT clear overnight and today it's really bad, to the point my lower legs look like sausages.

I had called the VA clinic two days ago and they said they would try to get me in, only to call me back while I was sleeping and tell me I would have to make the 70-mi-one-way trip down to Sepulveda and see a dentist. The next day I was so tired I didn't bother calling them back. When I saw how bad my legs were today, I called right away in the morning, explained patiently that a 140-mile round trip wasn't necessary just to have a dentist put me on antibiotics and send me home - and besides, my legs look like sausages.

She got me an appt for 2:15. This means I won't get any sleep beforehand, but that's ok, I can sleep all I want afterward. I rather stay up and go get the drugs I need to get the swelling under control than ignore it and risk a possible heart attack because all this fluid is very hard on my heart, regardless of its original cause.
Last night M and I talked. Even though we have to start paying our loans back in June and we aren't even moved yet, we're doing ok. We've been very conservative with the money and have managed to save a little more than we borrowed. That means we have a war chest to pay the lawyer to fight this and buy us time.

At this point, we are also seriously talking about suing Ms. Goldenring after the fact - especially with my system finally saying "enough" and going completely haywire. Hell - I even spotted a little and I haven't menstruated in nearly a year. I can feel this affecting my MS and that worries me even more because I've started having trouble walking.

I don't want to know what my blood pressure is right now.


May. 13th, 2012 11:24 pm
magyar_saman: (Default)
Today I spent thinking about how things change, how they stay the same, and how I don't feel as old as I am.

As of Tuesday, I'll be 52. "52" to me is old, stodgy, prudish. I'm none of those things and I doubt I ever will be. I look at my face in the mirror and ask "How did you get this old? Why does it feel like you've missed out on so much?"

I feel like I have so much more life to live...and, as long as I am walking this earth, I plan to live it.

That is...once I get a high-and-mighty bitch off my back. I have been avoiding wrangling with the credit bureaus after finding out that nothing I paid off cleared in a month as expected. It really twists my nose out of shape that they're quick to slap a debt on there and so damned slow (if ever) to take it off.

I think "How did I get here in this situation?" There are times I regret moving out of my house in Green Bay. I could've refinanced the mortgage, paid off all of my bills, put in new windows and a new garage door, put on a roof, and had Keith re-floor the kitchen and living room for me. That house was MINE and nobody could take it away...not like now. I guess the only thing that can be said is I got taken advantage-of and the nightmare isn't over, yet.

Never, since I purchased my first house in 1986, have I faced a situation where I could be thrown out of my house. Not. Once. I've always paid my housing, above and beyond any other bill I had. I have three paid-off mortgages under my belt.

But none of that matters, now. I wanted to move out west and I'm here. I got caught in a tough situation in 2006 and ended up the victim of a predatory lender, who borrowed money to purchase this place when he already owned it. Instead of working out a deal with me, he elected to foist this place off on the person he conned the money out of, and even though she doesn't have clear title to it, she thinks she can evict me.

Security has always been a central issue for me, starting back in my teens. I wasn't so much affected by my father skipping out on us, as by my mother suddenly becoming a raging, violent alcoholic. She'd always been my anchor in chaos and when she turned on me, I lost that. Even so, I didn't start displaying PTSD symptoms till after Rhod pulled what he did on me. He came home on a Wednesday and handed me his paycheck as usual. He came home the following night and informed me he was moving out and he needed the check back so he could rent a place. Just. Like. That. I found out later it was because his girl-on-the-side refused to part her legs till he moved out on me. Then I found out even later that he'd married me because all his friends told him not to.


I became a hermit for the next 4 years and about the only person I saw was my friend Keith, who refused to let me remain a hermit. Of course, when I stopped being a hermit I was thrown into another bad situation, but that's another story. Let's put it this way: Nobody gets to sit me on a chair and belittle me in front of others, ever again. Nobody gets to trap me and try to force me to make a decision in their favor, ever again.

Then there was M and T. M and I had stopped any sort of physical relationship pretty much since right before I moved west, but a part of me still hoped that something would change. Then T came along, and got invited in, and got everything I'd sat and hoped-for for the past some-odd years. I was devastated. I was angry. I was jealous, and I had cause. It threw me into such a state that my online relationship suffered and then fell apart. Suddenly I was alone and didn't feel I had anyone. Again. PTSD? That's an understatement.

Yes, I came through it and yes, M and I are still companions, albeit without any physical romance. Yes, I got back together with my online beau. Things sailed along just fine until we were dumb enough to put up the Oathbreaker, who then proceeded to steal us blind.

I am still angry over the loss of my family's years-long collection of silver coins but I know I'll never see them again.

Then, just as soon as we get rid of her for good, here comes the Holier-than-Thou-Runs-Off-To-Help-Impoverished-In-Mexico. Obviously she was "taken care of" from her birth all the way through her marriage, because she doesn't have a lick of horse sense. Yes, she ran off and joined the Peace Corps in her 60s, but so what? For all intents and purposes, she did it for the prestige. She may think of herself as altruistic but that altruism ends when it comes to a low-income, disabled person right under her own nose. I tried to work with the woman but because she doesn't have clear title to this mobile home, we were advised to ignore her. Well...she got herself one of the worst lawyers in the area and decided to sue to evict me from a house she doesn't even own. When her lawyer began his harassment I was thrown into PTSD again like there's no tomorrow, until I realized that the papers he was pasting on our front door weren't worth the ink they were printed with. And I am, and I will lose this house. I could fight for it and probably win, but why? Crack in the roof lets in rain and now there's mold in M's closet. The toilet in the front bathroom was never repaired correctly, resulting in some minor floor damage and a toilet that has to be flushed with a bucket. The cheap carpeting they put on the front steps wore out within a couple of years, and has had to be cut off and prepped for painting. I could go on, but what's the point?

The only point I hoped to make is that my basic security has been an issue for me for most of my life and no matter how many antidepressants I take or counseling I get, it always will be, until I am finally, once again, in a house I can call mine that isn't going to be taken away as long as I pay the mortgage...which I will always do, faithfully.

I do miss green. I was looking at a friend's pictures from Oshkosh, WI and sighing because everything is moist and green. I sincerely wish we could move somewhere where I can have that again but chances are we're going to either stay in this park or move to the one two parks down. Still in the desert, where everything is pretty much brown. I want green. I can still remember my friend from San Diego coming to visit us in Wisconsin years ago and remarking, time and again, how green everything was.

Ah well...I'm off to play a game. Enough thinking for one night.
magyar_saman: (Default)
I should make something clear lest I piss off friends and other readers -

I am not antisemetic. In fact, I'm part Jew.

My problem with Bette Goldenring is not that she's Jewish - it's that she acts like her heritage makes her somehow better than I am.

I don't care if you're Jewish, white, black, Christian, or a worshipper of the Great Spaghetti Monster - however, if you try to say that your heritage or beliefs make you better than I am - THEN I have a problem with you.


May. 9th, 2012 05:14 pm
magyar_saman: (Default)
There's something else which came to light...

Prior to us moving in here, the Carrillo family lived here. We still occasionally get junk mail for both the husband and the wife.

If Norman "borrowed" 78K from Bette to "buy" this home - he defrauded her because he already OWNED this home. That also may prove to be a rather interesting point to kick around in court.
magyar_saman: (bunny in a cup)
...the money Bette Goldenring were to save if she'd listened to me and not hired herself a bloodsucking lawyer who is doing things simply to extract more money from her.

That's right. We still don't have a mortgage. I'm harassing the gal from Wells Fargo, who hasn't answered me. Next I will flood her with telephone calls.

The things that have floored me this past week and a half are (a) took the wind out of my sails to discover that I have to do the work of the creditors to clear my credit history, because the bills I paid off are still listed as owing, and (b) the cats getting sick (we're up to 3 now but thank Goddess they're all recovering).

I am mentally exhausted inside.

We went to see our lawyer today and Bette's bloodsucking lawyer is doing a "discovery" on me - and why is he doing this? Goddess knows. To get more money most likely. After all, this is about the mobile home we're squatting in, not about any other assets I may have.

My lawyer's a smart one. He caught a rather glaring discrepancy in their original legal package and is exploiting it for all it's worth. Bloodsucker tried to get it dismissed, but the judge said no, there's enough here to go forward with it. My lawyer goes to another hearing sometime tomorrow, and we will chat on the phone afterward.

The discrepancy has to do with the security agreement not being struck between myself and Ms. Goldenring, but myself and Buenaventura Capital. There is also a glaring discrepancy between the money they claim Ms. Goldenring is trying to recover via the house versus what the security agreement says. Lastly, there is the ambiguity of the statement which claims the house was "given" to her, with no attribute for the signature, no letterhead, nothing - and it directly conflicts with the security agreement I signed at the same time with Buenaventura.

I also gave our lawyer something else to consider. See, we've paid Buenaventura roughly 50K already. A year ago April, when Michael spoke with Ms. Goldenring on the telephone, she began to cry when Michael related that fact, which more or less says "Norman hasn't paid me a dime." We've been TELLING her to sue Norman - that it isn't us she needs to sue - but her psyche just can't wrap around the idea that another Jew, who is both a family friend and a member of the same Temple, could've swindled her. Sooner or later, she is going to have to face that fact when she finds she has to go to court again to get Norman to pay the back taxes and put the title into her name.

She can't even think about selling this place without that title being free and clear.

Part of their eviction suit includes lawyers fees and court costs, which as of the last document, are stated at $6000. She could've taken $4000 of that and paid off the taxes, got my name off as registered owner, and demanded the title from Norman. Instead, she's paying the ambulance-chasing bloodsucking lawyer Olaf, who is dreaming up ways to creat paperwork and bogus filings just to soak her for more money.

I'm goya so what do I know - or at least she thinks I am. Fact of the matter is my matrineal line - the same one where the Shamanism comes from - was Hungarian Jewish. Of course I was not able to relate that to her; it's not something she wants to hear, nor does she want to hear how much of a hypocrite she is. Yeah, go to Mexico and help those dirt-poor Mexicans...but you get a needy one in your own backyard and you not only spit on them, you harass them to the point where we are contemplating an ethics complaint against her lawyer, followed by a small claims suit against her for fees and suffering.

It's not that I don't want to work with her. Michael and I both have sent her letters offering to make a deal...but we weren't going to pay and pay and pay forever. There was also the matter of the fact that she doesn't have the title. We could pay her and have Norman come along later and say we paid the wrong person and it didn't count. We wanted a solid, signed contract, and neither of them were willing to give it to us.

So now she gets to spend thousands of dollars on a bloodsucking lawyer and she still may not get this house - plus face a possible lawsuit from ME for fees, pain, and suffering.
magyar_saman: (nuclear blast)
I hate Korporate Amerika.

Creditors are fast to report you to the credit bureaus when you owe them money, sometimes reporting you before you even have a chance to do anything about it.

They don't appear to care, however, about removing their entries once they've been paid.

A little over a month ago, thanks to my cousin Jon, I paid off a bunch of debts on my credit report. I waited the requisite month, and guess what?

Each and every one of the fucking debts are still listed as owed.

WHY is it on ME that I have to contact these credit bureaus to get these debts taken off? WHY can't the DEBTORS do their part and remove them once they get their money?


Now I have to harass three credit bureaus to get these entries taken off, and watch - they'll make me wait ANOTHER MONTH before things are clear.



Apr. 23rd, 2012 06:51 am
magyar_saman: (Default)
I would say I "get a kick" out of wannabe witches, except for one thing. Their dabbling causes REAL harm.

Someone decided to send Pestilence our way, and I'm sure they're watching this journal to see the result.

Um...if it hasn't hit you already, you're going to be very ill, because it got sent back to you tenfold.

One of my totems is obviously the house cat. I have several, and unbeknownst to a lot of people, they have taken it upon themselves to stand between me and harm.

We get flies in the house because the neighbor has a dog and doesn't do a very good job of cleaning up after it. This year, the flies seemed unusually numerous. I also smelled death in places I should not have.

I'm not sure at all how it got through the shields and protectors, but it did...and it came in the flies.

Two of my older cats developed a case of conjunctivitis out of the clear blue. They don't go outside. There aren't any chemicals they can get into. No obvious cause...except the flies.

Some of these wannabe witches profess to being animal lovers, and more than a few profess a particular affinity with house cats. Well, GUESS WHAT you stupid people? YOU HURT CATS.

And it'll happen every single time you try to send something detrimental my way. I have actually had cats sicken and die rather than allow the harm that was sent to reach me. I am not happy about this. Especially right now.

I can't make them not protect me. They do it of their own free will.

So the next time you wish me harm, keep in mind that you will HURT CATS. Also keep in mind that I will send whatever it is, right back to you tenfold - and I AM skilled enough to bypass any creatures, furry or not, and beeline it right back to you. Unlike you, I am deadly serious about my Craft, and have invested plenty of time into honing my skills.

Stop with your fucking dabbling. You're not a Big Bad Witch. You're a poor excuse of a child, serving the Lefthand Path with your petulance.


Apr. 21st, 2012 05:45 am
magyar_saman: (Default)
I haven't been talking much - to anyone. A couple of people think there's "something wrong" with me. Well, they're right, but it's not anything new.

I haven't heard back from Wells Fargo, and after all the press about them screwing mortgage customers over, I'm not so sure I want a loan from them.

I've looked at some loan papers the real estate agent sent me, but it says they expect me to put 20% down. Again, we're short on that, so I doubt they'd give me a loan.

I also need to get a hold of Homes for Heros, since it's been just over a month since I paid off all those bills.

This week, I couldn't bring myself to do any of it. I was fine until our park manager woke us both up to tell us to take care of the yard, or else. Michael blew up at her but called her later when he was calmer and explained the situation. Seems she still expects us to take care of the yard, even if we're leaving.

There is another very nice home in Tradewinds, a park closer to Rosamond proper and supposedly such a good place to live, it's hard to get a space in there.

I just feel very overwhelmed. We both do. We decided not to do anything serious until Monday.

I haven't been going into virtual worlds as much as I used to. It seems every time I do, there's someone that wants something from me, or there's some sort of drama that needs to be handled. Right now, I can't deal with much more than I already am. My friends are wondering why I'm keeping to myself - it's hard to explain to them how I feel and have them understand it, unless they've been through it.

Right now, the less people I have to talk to, the better. I feel like a raw, exposed nerve. I need to build up some scar tissue before wading in again.
magyar_saman: (Default)
The court filing is real, no word yet if the taxes have been paid.

When are these assholes going to realize they can't take possession of ANYTHING till those taxes are paid?
magyar_saman: (Default)
I just got served with court papers that have an actual case number. However, the case is not showing up on the Kern County Superior Court website. Michael just jumped into the car to drive to Mojave to check, because their phone numbers are screwed up.

According to the papers, this case was filed on the 27th of March - and it took all this time to serve me? Again, makes no sense. Again, no word as to whether the taxes have been paid.

I knew something was coming. I couldn't get sleepy to save my life this morning.

Sometimes being an Empath and a Shaman can suck big ones.

If this guy had us served with fradulent court papers, I'll have his damned license.
magyar_saman: (Default)
The rumor mill has it that there are certain parties engaging in Schadenfreude over our housing troubles. It's the usual suspects and what makes me scratch my head is - why?

Some of them claim to be witches. Don't they realize that delighting in someone else's troubles will get you nothing but trouble? You'd think they'd be smart enough to know that, but I guess not, huh.

Yes, there are plenty of people I don't like. Some I even downright detest. This doesn't mean I am going to watch their journal for any sign of trouble and, if they have some, glory in it.

In fact, these people who are "glorying" in our troubles are people I've never harmed, not once.

The only thing that comes to mind is that we either threaten them somehow, or somehow make them feel inadequate, so when we're having problems, this helps them feel better about their shortcomings.

*shakes head* go figure. FWIW things aren't as bad as some people think. No, we are not getting thrown onto the street. Yes, we have a bid on another house and I am waiting for a certain bank's "national decision committee" to get back to my contact person. It would seem they are two weeks behind.

In the meanwhile I wrote a certain elderly lady a very nice, factual letter, and CC'd it to her son, her lawyer, and my lawyer. We got the return receipts so we know they got them. So far, nothing but silence. This can be both a good AND a bad thing; good, because that means I may have finally put an end to their scaretastic bullshit and bad, because now they may choose not to do anything at all. I'd love it if they paid off the tax liens but alas it looks like we'll have to. Thanks to a certain very generous individual, we can manage that.

Then I get my name off this place as "registered owner" and it'll probably end up going the same way so many other places owned by the same firm did: Repossessed by the park for nonpayment of lot rent, and sold to satisfy the back rent and taxes.

I sent off the paperwork to the VA lawyer last week so hopefully I'll hear something soon from them. I know this is gonna take awhile even though my age actually qualifies me even more for increased benefits. The thing I like about this law firm is if you're on SSDI, they push the fact that you're obviously unemployable or you wouldn't be on full-time Social Security Disability. Um, D'OH! hahahaha!!

So, you see my various detractors, while you may think you have reason to rejoice at our misfortune, you have nothing whatsoever to rejoice about at all. Things are going precisely the way they are supposed to, as Mama Goddess would tell you they should. It's a shame that you collectively are so miserable you go out of your way to watch our journals and wait, with baited breath no less, to see what Shoe Of The Universe is going to hit our heads next.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but maybe you need a reminder:


Thank-a-you so very much!
magyar_saman: (batshit crazy)
The Kern County Tax Assessor is insisting we owe a lot more in back liens than the amount listed on my crdit report.

They also have the mistaken idea this mobile home is somehow worth 67K, when the 4-bedroom, well-maintained, with fireplace doublewide across the street sold for 18K. The one next door to it, also well-maintained, is selling for $12K.

The nightmares just keep on a-coming....

In other news, I have to call the VA and talk to Records. I need to get the appeal file number for my appeal a couple of years ago. Got a local lawyer that is looking into taking the case for a percentage of my return.

Our forward motion is running in place, for now, and that does not make me feel any better.

FWIW, I wrote a letter to Bette, with copies to her lawyer, our lawyer, and her son, outlining the situation, and what she must do to legally possess this house. If she refuses to follow the very simple steps, then she's shit out of luck, and she can kiss my ass.

She has to (1) pay the tax liens, (2) get Norman to actually sign the physical title over to her, and (3) get my name off as registered owner.

I'm wondering if I can sue Norman after the dust settles and we're safely into the new home.

For one, it has structural damage they attempted to cover up. There appears to be a crack which goes all the way to the roof; the visible part of it in Michael's bedroom leaks every time we get a decent rainstorm. It was recently discovered that more water is making its way between the walls because mold is developing in Michael's closet.

The toilet in the front bathroom has been non-operational virtually since we moved in. Norman's crew came and replaced the wax ring, but they did not replace the toilet itself. We discovered that the rubber seals on the tank are completely gone. Michael has to flush it with a bucket.

Back when I first had this security agreement with them, David Wright called me and told me he "had to put it into my name to get me into the park." Since we were essentially in a rental situation those first two years, with our rent based on 12% of the remaining balance, my name should never have been listed as registered owner and I should not have paid property taxes. Wright failed to explain to me just what "putting my name on it" entailed. That brings us to the current situation, where Kern County is trying to tell me I owe roughly $1200 more than my credit report says, and tells me my name won't be removed till it's all paid.

My security agreement said nothing about putting the property in my name and making me responsible for the taxes.

All I know is I want out of this place before it collapses around our very ears. I want to be in the new house, with a traditional mortgage, a PITI payment, so I don't have to worry about these things, just make my payment every month.

I want nothing whatsoever to do with the people wrangling over this mobile home, ever again, except possibly in court for fraud and harassment.
magyar_saman: (Default)
This is the second time I've had to dick around with Firefox and this time I figured out it has something to do with LiveJournal.

I had to roll back to version 10 because if I try to post an entry on LJ, weird things happen to my display. I have a brand-new monitor and I'm still getting this, so it's some combination of LJ and Firefox 11. Basically it turns everything into shifting technicolor, like each pixel is shifting through every color, and freezes things up.

It's not my vid card, because this has happened only with the combination of LJ and Firefox 11.

I've taken to posting here on Dreamwidth and crossposting to LJ, instead.
magyar_saman: (Default)
You know what keeps me awake? Not knowing if we got the loan from Wells Fargo.

My friend just sent me the money to pay off the listed tax liens but the tax people are trying to tell me I owe much more. I think they have my place mixed up with another one on the same street, because they got the brand name of my mobile home wrong.

I try to go to bed and my mind starts racing. I start writing letters to various people - Bette, Norman, the tax people - and my mind doesn't want to stop. I do eventually get to sleep but then I wake up shortly before sundown.

To say I'm under a load of anxiety is putting it mildly. I just want a mortgage approval so we can move on and get out of this nightmare.

There isn't anything I can do to relieve the anxiety except keep plugging along, paying things off, and praying to Chehooit that we get the mortgage. I've prayed to Her so much that She's alive and well, and little miracles are happening in the desert, including rainstorms.

I hate feeling this way. I hate being scared we won't get the loan. I hate it, and there's nothing I can do about it.
magyar_saman: (Default)
I should be in bed, by now. I've been up since 5:30 this morning...but I can't stop thinking about how the majority of the human race would screw you over rather than give it a thought.

Today my ex husband Rhod said "delete your facebook profile or face legal recourse." When he initiated the divorce, I asked that he put in there that I could change back to my maiden name. Well, here we are over 5 years later and I haven't done it, yet. Any woman who has wed or otherwise had reason to change her name will tell you how much expense and downright hassle it really is.

Most of you know I'm in the midst of trying to get secure housing for Michael and I. Now is not the time to be changing my name, yet there he is, demanding that I do it. HIS name. There are over 217,000 people with the same last name, and over 1500 with the same exact name I have. Hell - there was another gal in Green Bay when I lived there that had the same exact name. Once in awhile, I'd get her mail or she'd get mine, and we'd have to forward it.

I can tell you what happened. His perky little wife, Tonya, was looking at my page and asked "Why is she using OUR last name?" Well dear, what he didn't tell you is yes, he married me first. Sorry doll, but you were #2, and I find it no coincidence at all that you look like you could be my daughter. If he told you that you were the one and only, he lied. He's good at that. Chances are excellent that isn't the only lie he's told you over the past 5 years.

He also didn't tell you that he married me on a dare. When he broached the subject of marrying me to his friends and coworkers, they all told him not to do it. Unfortunately, most of them weren't considering the damage it would do to ME if he did; no, they were thinking of his young age and "missed opportunities".

NOBODY thought of me when he went ahead and married me, leading me to think I was the happiest woman in the world. NOBODY thought of me when they later knew he was cheating on me. NOBODY thought of telling me, for my sake...nooooo. Not a one.

Then, he abandoned me, and it triggered me so badly I was a relative hermit for the next 4 years.

If it hadn't been for Keith, I wouldn't have come out of my shell, at all. Chances are good I wouldn't have budged till I started talking to Michael first on the Internet, then the phone.

Gee, the same thing happened when Amy defrauded me out of a young fortune. Everyone was "concerned" about "keeping their Warrior Oath" with that dipshit common law husband of hers. NOBODY cared about breaking THEIR oath with ME.

In other words, I've managed to pick both friends and lovers in the past who really didn't GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT MY WELFARE.

As you all know, I've been threatened with legal-this and legal-that from Olaf and the crew, so imagine how I felt when my ex "threatened legal recourse"? Well, those have become trigger words, and that's why I'm still the fuck awake when I should've been asleep hours ago. In fact, I believe I hastened my 5yo widescreen monitor's demise by the amount of anger I was radiating; I was speaking to Keith about what happened, and my monitor kept going black.

This has gotten me thinking about the sad sorry state of the human race in general - and Americans in particular.

Was Rhod paying any attention to my housing problems, some of which got posted to Facebook? HELL no. He doesn't care that much. He just cares about having to explain what must be a REALLY BIG FAT LIE to his current wife.

I bet I could "enlighten" her on a whole bunch of other things, so if Rhod has any brains at all, he'll shut his pie hole and crawl back into the booze bottle he came out of. I will change my name, WHEN I wish to, to WHATEVER I like, and I don't need a court telling me when to do it. I certainly don't need HIM telling me when to do it. If he "paid extra" to have that put into the divorce papers, then he's as dumb as a box of rocks (which I already figured out). I bet those lawyers saw him coming a mile away, and fleeced him good. I was just about to file abandonment papers on him when he so cheerfully initiated the divorce. Who was I to stop him? When I asked him if he was getting remarried, of course he lied and said no. You see, he lies when he doesn't really have to. It's a habit with him that he just can't seem to break.

I've just been doing a lot of thinking about how little most people really care about each other - even those they are married to, sired, or are relative to as an accident of birth. Things have gotten a lot worse since the collapse of the economy. Now, I will admit that hard times make people do some really bad things - but for fuck sake people, don't do it to your OWN.

I'm naturally not condemning the entire human race, but I can pretty much say that those who truly care about me are few and far between. Some of you are here. One is in the next bedroom. One is a cousin, one is a friend. One is a spiritual brother. In other words, I can pretty much count out loud just how many people truly care about me and my welfare. You see, here in America, our culture has gone all Ayn Rand - everyone out for themselves! It's like if you're not related by blood to someone, why should they give a rat's ass about you? How many people were forced out of the only homes they knew because some faceless little ant in the Anthill of Big Banks said so? Well, they're not MY relatives, so why should I care?


Ayn Rand's philosophies work great if you're a part of the 1% but they don't work too well for those below that stratosphere of economic reality. Of course, the 1% are just waiting for the rest of us to kill each other off so they don't have to be exposed to our sweating masses if they happen to go down the street.

Um...let me enlighten you, you filthy rich, stinking selfish, asshat 1% - YOU WOULDN'T BE THERE IF IT WEREN'T FOR US 99%, YOU STUPID FUCKERS.

Some of them are finding that out now, as things stagnate or come to a full stop. Gee, well guess who used to DO those jobs? The ones you OUTSOURCED but now need? The ones you forced out because you didn't want to pay retirement benefits or medical benefits or anything that might cut into your precious bottom line.


It's especially bad when you see a backwoods kid who didn't even finish high school not taking the time out to see why I may not have changed my name yet before he attempted to tear me a new one for it. Just rubs it in all the more how little he truly cared about me. When I ceased being convenient, he left.

I'm not the weeping wilting person he left that Thursday so long ago. Ohhh, no. I've had MUCH WORSE visit me, and leave me all that more cynical.

Rhod, you aren't even small potatoes compared with what I've had to deal with in the last six months - nightmares I wouldn't even wish on YOU, much less anyone else. Do me a favor? Go back to your nice little life, with your nice little wife, and whatever else you have going on, and forget about me, mkay?
magyar_saman: (Default)
Who should raise his skinny ugly head, but my ex husband.

Recently, I changed my Facebook name to my RL name. Why? Because I'm finally trying to connect with far-flung relatives, starting with Jon's brother, Jere. I wanted Jere to know it was me who was contacting him.

Today, I get this message from my ex: "Why did you put your public profule on facebook as leesa xxxxx when we clearly paid for you to ise your maiden name? I am very hard to aggrivate but if you do not delete this profile immediately i will find you in contempt of the devorce and you will ve liable for the costs incurred as a result of your SPECIFIC requests." (sic - I didn't make the spelling errors)

Um...I am in the middle of trying to secure safe housing for Michael and I - the LAST thing I want to do is change my name in the midst of that process. Why didn't I change it before now? Laziness, I suppose. He'd moved back to his home state of Maine, I'd moved out West, and my last name is very common. To hear he paid extra to put that in the divorce decree? Why'd he have to pay extra?

This is the last I sent to him (his wife's name omitted for privacy): "Maybe now you'll learn that honesty is the best policy. Let me outline this for you: You told xxxxx she was your first and only wife, right? Maybe now you need to tell her that you were with me all of 5 years, during the last year, we were married. Regretting your decision, you started cheating on me and we didn't even make it to our first anniversary before you left. Maybe it's about time she knows that, while you intend to stay with her, she wasn't your first. You married your first because everyone told you not to. Basically a dare. You see, I may seem like a softie to you but I'm not that person anymore. You don't want to get on my bad side. Nuff said."

I don't need this shit. He has no clue what I'm going through and wouldn't know how to make his way out of a wet paper bag if he went through it.


Mar. 20th, 2012 09:51 am
magyar_saman: (Default)
I have been very tired. I slept a good 12 hours yesterday from around 5:30 to 5:30AM. As Michael writes, we made an offer on the new house.

Getting "terror notes" from Olaf Landsgaard doesn't phase me any longer, since I know they're hot air till the taxes are paid. The man is making false statements like mad, and I'm sure the California Bar would like to hear all about it.

Wells Fargo is amenable to giving me a mortgage, as long as I clear my credit history. Thanks to my cousin, I've done that. Now it's just a matter of getting the information to their representative. She called me a few days ago, said she'd send me an email, and did not. I got frustrated and emailed the one contact I had, who gave me her email address. I've since sent an introductory email and am waiting on a reply.

I created a gmail account, not only because I'm concerned that not all emails are making it through AT&T, but also so I have one central place for all housing-related emails.

Now it's a matter of waiting. Waiting for receipts to arrive in the snail mail. Waiting for the rep to answer my email. Waiting.

A good friend of ours is fronting us the money to cover the tax liens, since they seem to be the sticking point, and those will be paid shortly after we receive the money. Then let's see Olaf, Norman, and Bette try to force me out before I'm ready. It'll take them a good two months, and by that time, I'll be moved.

Our lawyer is up to his eyeballs in alligators with a jury trial but we've done our best to keep him informed. About all we'll need from him is a letter to Buenaventura officially turning the house over to them, when the time comes.

Thank you all for your donations, your thoughts, and your good energies flowing our way. I cannot express how grateful I am.


Mar. 12th, 2012 04:28 pm
magyar_saman: (Default)
Thanks to Jon, I paid off all the outstanding bills, save one. The one will be paid tomorrow. I actually hit the daily limit on my debit card.

Got an email in to the Kern County Tax Collector asking about the property taxes, whether I have to pay them regardless, or if they go with the home.

Made an appointment with the realtor for Wednesday to make out a contract and put down earnest money.

Moving forward!
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